Does anyone else think this lockdown is the world’s way of saying you will be single forever? I have finally got my shit together (well as much as I can) and decided to embrace dating and make 2020 my year. Now we’re stuck in a soul-destroying cycle of Zoom quizzes and Olympic standard 5k times on Instagram.
Being single currently means that the only one asking how you are is Netflix, midway through your latest binge of Tiger King, where watching someone with a bad haircut, cashflow problems and potential homicidal tendencies can get multiple partners, is currently your main inspiration for finding someone.
If like me, your IQ is higher than your age and you didn’t make the cut for Too Hot To Handle, the chances of a Francesca or Harry landing in your bedroom are pretty remote and illegal if they live more than 2km away. The mood swings are real at the moment - you go between the relief that you’re not stuck with an annoying worse other half, to throwing the eye at your 70-year-old neighbour as she plants strawberries in her back garden.
The desire to be in a relationship versus the idea that you can’t commit to any series over three seasons on Netflix, who am I kidding? I tell myself I’m missing nothing, that dates are like a daily briefing by Trump, repetitive, unnecessarily long and full of lies, as I swipe through every dating app known to man.
Be honest... has anyone else creeped on the ex’s Insta to see if they are still on the market? The temptation to run back to your ex is like the people of Galway queueing for Supermacs; it’s very soon going to leave you feeling empty and full of regret. Some ‘genius’ in Tinder decided that they would make the Passport feature free during the lockdown.
Oh great, not only can I not date anyone that lives outside my house, I can now see amazing girls all over the world... that I’ll never date. Even in the good times, geography is key. If Taylor Swift lived the far side of Athlone and was all about me, I’d have to think about that kind of distance, so Tinder please find something more useful to make free like single hairdressers in my area!
I’ve seen a few articles about Zoom dates, it’s an interesting concept. I mean, it’s an excuse to dress up, well the top half at least. Sadly, my blazers have seen less action over the last few weeks than most weighing scales around the country. I’m all for chatting online but let’s be honest, it’s very difficult to really relate to someone unless you spend time in their company. Imagine all the potential relationships that could have prematurely ended because her WIFI is worse than watching an Irish person dancing on TikTok.
One thing I’ve learned in lockdown, apart from the fact that you can wear the same shorts at least 8 days in a row, is that I really miss hugs. We, humans, crave connection, and hugs are an integral part of that. Hugging can have calming and healing qualities, reducing tension in the body and can reduce feelings of anxiety, depression and loneliness. And that’s just hugs ;-)
I suppose online dating and video calling work for some, but I’m trying to convince myself that dating is like work, I hope to get back to it at some point, I know it’s going to be challenging I won’t have a clue what I’m doing at first but with patience and understanding, I might eventually get good the next time.